Efraine du Toit gets candid about motherhood in Wat ’n ma moet weet

Parenting doesn’t come with a recipe for success. There’s also no step-by-step manual for the daily journey parents walk with their children.

But there are questions worth asking and conversations that can make that journey feel a little less overwhelming.

That is what Efraine du Toit is bringing back to the screen for the second season of Wat ’n ma moet weet (‘What a Mother Must Know’).

Candid, honest and empathetic, Du Toit tackles the realities of motherhood without beating around the bush, walking alongside other mothers through the questions, challenges and experiences that come with raising children.

The new season was filmed while she was pregnant with Daniël and covers everything from children’s health, nutrition and safety to pregnancy loss, household emergencies, the digital world and mom guilt.

Ahead of the new season, Du Toit opens up about what motherhood has taught her, the heartbreak of losing a baby and the pressure to be the perfect mom.

The new season launches shortly after this major event in your own life. How special is this timing for you, and how much of your own journey as a mom serves as inspiration for the show?

Everything I talk about in Wat ’n ma moet weet comes straight from my own experience as a mom. I’ve never been as invested in conversations as the ones we have on the show. Being a mother definitely gets easier when you have more knowledge about the different aspects of motherhood. It also helps to know that you aren’t going through the tears and challenges alone. I’m unbelievably excited about this season, which was filmed while I was pregnant with Daniël. That makes the timing extra special for me.

After the first season, what feedback did you get from viewers that made you realise there are still so many important parenting conversations to be had?

With the first season of Wat ’n ma moet weet, we had one overarching goal: to make parents feel that they aren’t alone and that we all struggle at times. The messages I received after the first season were incredibly encouraging and made me realise we achieved what we set out to do. Each episode is short enough for a busy mom to squeeze in somewhere during the week, yet packed with valuable information and discussions that remind you that you’re not alone.

The season starts with basic safety and care, while also looking at lifestyle and environmental factors that affect children’s health. What practical lessons did you only learn after becoming a mom yourself?

I only realised after becoming a mother just how many things you simply don’t know until you’re standing in those shoes. Even the most basic things – like sleep, nutrition, safety and what’s in your child’s environment – can have a huge impact on their health and development. Every stage brings fresh questions and challenges. I’m still learning every single day, which is why the practical advice in this episode is so valuable to me. As moms, we can never learn enough, and I feel I learn the most from listening to other people’s stories.

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A post shared by Efraine du Toit (@efraine_)

Why was it important for you to speak openly about this loss, and what do you hope parents take away from that conversation?

It wasn’t an easy conversation to have, and I completely understand why women who go through it don’t always want to talk about it. However, I found that the more I talked about it, the easier it became and the fewer tears fell.
It was the loneliest I’ve ever felt in my life. Even though my husband was right beside me every step of the way, that loneliness and heartbreak didn’t ease up for a very long time. On 28 August, it was exactly a year since I was in theatre losing our baby. Just because I have another baby now doesn’t mean I forget what happened. I specifically wanted to speak openly about it because so many women walk this road. If you’re one of them, I hope this conversation makes you feel – even if just a little bit – less alone.

You look at household emergencies as well as the dangers of the digital world. Did these conversations make you realise there are areas where you could prepare your own family even better?

Definitely. These discussions made me realise that you can never be prepared for every single situation, but having the right knowledge and a solid plan makes a massive difference. With two little ones, I feel that basic first aid, knowing what to do when a child chokes and knowing who to contact

The season wraps up with a conversation on working moms and mom guilt. When do you experience this guilt most strongly, and what helps you remember that you don’t have to be a perfect mom to be a good mom?

Is there even such a thing as a perfect mom? It feels to me like I’m learning every day alongside my kids. I grow, change and learn as they grow. I do my absolute best as a mom because I want to, and I have to trust that this is enough for them too.

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A post shared by Efraine du Toit (@efraine_)

Wat ’n ma moet weet returns to VIA

Through the new season, Du Toit draws on her own experiences while opening conversations around some of the realities parents face behind closed doors.

From the practical questions that come with raising children to grief, guilt and the constant process of learning as your children grow, the series aims to remind mothers that parenting does not require perfection.

Wat ’n ma moet weet starts Thursday, 3 September at 20:00 on VIA, DStv channel 147.

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