Leaving the date midway!

Dear Self,

Remember that time you had that date at the Mexican bar down the road with Pierre? He travelled all the way from Stellenbosch to meet you; impressive dedication for a first-time meet-up with a stranger. Back in those days, that kind of effort was a big deal.

The afternoon started off smoothly with frozen margaritas and easy conversation. Pierre, being the eldest of five in a big winelands family, was keen on discussing future plans. The conversation eventually turned to marriage and kids; basically, the “build a future” talk.

Now, picture this: I was in my early 20s, brimming with youthful confidence and independence, while Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” blared on repeat on every radio station (Spotify wasn’t even a thing yet, folks). When Pierre asked about my future plans, I proudly declared, “Good luck to anyone trying to put a ring on my finger!”

Well, that declaration sealed my fate in the next five minutes. Pierre stood up, snatched his wallet off the table, and executed a swift 180-degree turn; leaving the bar without so much as a backward glance. It was like watching a slow-motion exit scene from a movie.

The bar lady, who had been thoroughly invested in our conversation, gave me a look of utter confusion and whispered, “What just happened?”

I was as bewildered as she was. I hadn’t intended to offend; I was just being my unapologetic self. But reflecting on it now, I see that Pierre’s vision for his future was so aligned with traditional expectations that my outspoken stance on marriage and kids felt like a deal-breaker he couldn’t overlook.

This experience taught me that sometimes our words can have a greater impact than we intend. It’s not just about being true to yourself, but also about how you deliver your truth. If I had been more mindful of my words, maybe things could have turned out differently.

Now, as I look back from the other side of 40, I wonder what might have been if I had used a bit more diplomacy. Who knows, I might have been looking at a white picket fence and a “happy ever after” instead of reflecting on a date gone sideways.

Takeaway tip: speak your truth, but consider the other person’s perspective. A little empathy in your communication can go a long way in shaping the outcome of your encounters.

Here’s to learning from the past and navigating the dating world with a bit more finesse!

Stay Classy!

Milou x