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Milou's Column

Kinky is the new sexy

64

By Milou Staub

When he mentioned BDSM I thought it was a new kind of sandwich. Should have been a sign to do some quick Google research before agreeing to anything.

Dear Self. Remember when I decided to go all out and date folks a decade older, like slightly senior citizens? Yeah, that plan blew up in my face! Swiping, matching and chatting led to a decent first date with this guy. Things went well until the second date when he hit me with, “What am I?” I proudly listed off my fabulous traits: strong, independent, all that jazz. Little did I know, he wasn’t interested in that; he was referring to a world I thought only existed in X-rated movies.

“What am I in terms of kink?” he meant. Eyes wide, I blurt out something like, “Uh… well… starfish pose, you know”. Next thing I know, he’s sending me a link for a full-on BDSM test. Intrigued, burning with curiosity being the true Aries that I am, I signed up, logged in and furiously answered the series of questions on the test. Some were rather weird, like, “Do you enjoy behaving like a child?” or “Do you love being tied up with zero control?” Despite the odd questions, the BDSM quiz results revealed quite a lot about me. Shocking? Exciting? A bit of both, I’m telling you!

Turns out, I’m not all vanilla. If you’ve ever wondered about your own kinks, know that you’re not alone. I took the quiz to figure out if I was a Dom, Sub, Switch, Brat, or anything in between.

Now, full disclosure, the journey didn’t end there. Embracing this newfound knowledge about myself opened up a whole new world of exploration and understanding. It wasn’t just about labels or categories; it was about discovering layers of myself that I never knew existed. And let me tell you, it’s been quite the adventure! Little did he know, that date of mine, when he introduced me to Fetlife (https://fetlife.com/), turning me into a Fetlife heroine. Oh, the places you’ll go!

Kinky is the new sexy, whether it’s for fun or self-discovery. Thanks to this guy, I discovered who I really am on the shadow side!

Stay Spicy. IB

Takeaway tip:

To anyone curious about their desires or the world of kink, I say go for it! Dive in, explore, and embrace your true self. You might discover something incredible along the way.

Comment on this column by sending us an email to: letters@inboundsa.com

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